BLOG 5- MATTERS OF THE HEART
‘Love Is A
Many Splendoured Thing, All
You Need Is Love, Love
Lifts Us Up Where We Belong,
If music be the food of
love, play on; Her passions are made of nothing but the finest
part of pure love; Take away love, and our heart is a tomb; Where we love is
home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts’.
Love is most
sought after. It can be crippling, endearing, crushing, captivating,
enchanting, treasured, exalted, idolised, venerated and treasured but the
questions remain about what love is? How do we know we are in love? and what
does it mean to be in love and be loved?
For centuries
love has been depicted in songs, sonnets, fables, poems, stories, films, books,
plays, art, music etc, which have been created, formed, written, composed,
drawn, painted, sculpted and acted for as long as the earth has come to be.
Whether you believe it started in the Old Testament, where God created Adam and
Eve (or whether you believe in Darwin’s theory of evolution), love, not lust, has and will be the word on everyone’s lips and in everyone’s hearts now and
forever. It is the ultimate driving life force for every human being at some
point in their lives and it is a completely human experience that separates us
from every other living thing.
Great men and
women have been influenced by and made judgments and decisions based on or
around the subject of love. There has been many a consequence as a result of loving and non-loving relationships, which can mean so many different things to
so many different people and they in turn impact on people’s lives.
To love or not to
love and what does it mean to you?
For years now I
have not thought about and consciously avoided the topic of being IN love. When
people ask me about it I deflect quickly to their own situation. I don’t read
the parts in horoscopes that talk of romantic love and put walls up with men
who have romantic intentions, all of this for a great many reasons. I have had
a proposal or two in my lifetime, many boyfriends in my youth and many a romantic
entanglement. I do though, love watching films about love, I sob at tales of
unrequited love, I read romantic novels and immerse myself in art and plays
about love but some of those reasons why I am not in love will forever remain
personal and private and some of those reasons are for simple practicality. For
a great many years I had boyfriends and lovers who either broke my heart or I
broke theirs. I turned into a career woman who was active and focussed (some would say
driven) on my work and chasing personal dreams of travel, show business and
teaching internationally whilst taking up life’s opportunities, gifts and
challenges. One can become disillusioned and distracted with love that one
simply gives up. In my case, I am used to being single and don’t really think
about it until I am placed in a situation whereby it comes up in conversation
or situations ‘uncomfortably’ arise. I am a free spirit. I can come and go as I
please, I don’t answer to anybody and for most of my time I am my own boss,
schedule keeper and completely independent, (which can be a good and bad thing)
and this often scares men but I am free and blessed to live with ultimate freedom.
I see myself (and
try to be) a thoughtful person, never asking of people what I would not be
prepared to do in return and whilst not asking for charity always returning in
kind as best and whenever I can.
Being single can
evoke a variety of reactions in friends and acquaintances; the nice single
lady, the charity case, the confidante, the wise one, the lady with life
experience, questions of my involvement/ motives with plutonic male friends, a
role model, the sensible focussed one, issues of trust and having
the responsibility of other people’s secrets I hold close to my heart. I have even been told countless times by 'happily married' men and woman 'don't do it' and 'don't I realise how lucky I am to be singe?' Young children I teach laugh with me
when I say I’m not married and I pretend to ‘act’ cry (usually whilst reading stories). They view me as the cool
older lady or the no nonsense school teacher and trusted role model.
I had a great
many male friendships towards the end of my high school years where we surfed
and hung out at the beach and went to brother/ sister schools. We were a
close-knit bunch and those were undoubtedly the best and care free years of my life.
One boy I didn’t
date at school, both he and his wife are one my closest and longest standing friends. I soon
learnt the lesson that if I wanted to keep my best friends as friends, don’t
ruin it with romance and thus they are still great and true friends which works for me.
Dating,
socialising, music and sport were my focuses before
university and when I grew up, the responsibilities of adult life set in. I have
had and do have some of the best friends a girl could want, real salt of the
earth friends for life. They and I have put in a lot of years of trust and
honesty into forging our life-long relationships and for this alone I am truly
blessed.
A few family
members and friends worry about my well being with a life on my own but I find
it amusing that they seem more concerned for me than I am for myself? I live in
a generation of women who have either never been married, never had children,
never had to go through a painful divorce or attend the family law courts over
custody of children (as my parents did) and whilst there might be some regrets, there is empowerment in being the captain of one's ship, a master of one's destiny, a seeker of adventures, the growth, development and evolution of oneself in every way without
constraints or restrictions, being able to give freely care and advice, love and support,
guidance and assistance, friendship and confidence to people, friends and
children. I am fortunate to be an empowered woman of today and I know there are a great many women out there just like me. I still hold tight the dream that one day my prince will come but until then I must love humanity and all living things as best as is humanly possible.
